It's pretty easy to dwell on the past, to long for it, to get lost in yourself wishing you could go back to the way things were. Maybe you're thinking of people you've had to move away from, to move on from. Places you've had to leave. Friendships and moments of happiness that seem to be frozen, and forever out of our reach. Life is always changing, and as I near the end of my first year "post-grad", I've learned that things will never be the same. Fredericksburg, Ohio was one of the hardest places I've ever had to leave behind, for the comfort of the community, the friends I had made there, and the purpose and direction I felt I had. Most of those things have not yet been replaced, which leads to a daily tug in the corner of my mind, Why are you here, now?
Basically, I'm learning this: you can't live in the past, or change your life to go back to how things were. We are to move forward, and live today. Similarly, we can't rely on the past to hold our lives together. The scripture I was lead to today (1 Samuel 4) discussed that same issue with Israel, as we know, God's chosen people.
The Situation: The Israelites and Phillistines are at war at this moment (BEFORE the David and Goliath showdown), and the Israelites had just lost a battle against the Phillistines.
Israel's Solution: Unfortunately, the Nazis try to copy the Israelite's thought process in Raiders of the Lost Ark, thus losing to Indiana Jones. That thought of course being, that there was power to be had in the ark, that a man-made box would conquer all and give some sort of ultimate power. Still licking its wounds from the recent loss, Israel brings the ark to base camp in hope that it will be a lucky charm for them. Just bringing the ark to camp causes a huge uproar among the Israelites.
Solution Backfires: The Phillistines are terrified at the ruckus they hear, which only motivates them to fight more ferociously against the Israelites. Not only do they kick Israel's butt again, but they also steal the mascot. Israel loses the ark, which truly is a sacred vessel.
The Aftermath: God hasn't really left Israel, he just wanted them to see that it wasn't about the ark but HIM. The Phillistines begin suffering disease and death, their god-idols are destroyed, etc, while they possess the ark, so they decide to send it back. The Phillistines tested God though, and this is where the cows play a part.
The Cows: Phillistine leaders took two cows that had just calved, hid their babies from them, hitched them to a cart with the ark, and sent them on their way. As you may know, cows that have just had babies are 1.) Pretty protective, maternal instinct and all and 2.) Producing milk.And if they not milked, they become uncomfortable and cantankerous. Make sense?? The Phillistines had stacked the cards against the cows doing anything useful, but said to themselves, Hey, if those cows take the cart and go up the hill to Beth Shemesh (Israelite town), then we know our afflictions were from the God of Israel.
Wouldn't you know, the cows went straight to Beth Shemesh - and they never wavered from their course.
There is a lot more to the story of course, but I'll tell you the small things I've gathered from this situation. I often put myself in Israel's shoes, they're pretty naughty, and even though they mean well they usually end up messing up. But, they are still God's people, and he Loves them. They love him in return, but sometimes need a refresher course. Point being, their past history with God did not help them to win every battle against the Phillistines; they lost sight of who God really was, and put their faith in the idol of the material ark. Our walk with God is a constantly rolling relationship. It takes time, effort, heart. So no matter what your "God Time" looks like, you have to be present and IN it, not just throwing the cruise control on and hoping that the really heartfelt hour you spent 4 weeks ago (4 months/years ago?) will make up for your half-hearted contribution to the Present Time. And, the cows show us that nothing is beyond God - he is God of this world, and the next.
I'm grateful for the past. I rejoice that I have been so blessed with friends, a home, family. But sometimes I send out my cows and cart - I look for ways to test God, to make him show me why he's brought me to this particular place in my life. Praise God for the past and the cows, Pray for my walk with him today.
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